Sweet Jennies. San Francisco.

20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships

I clearly am a huge fan of the Mark and Angel blog. I loved yesterday's email from the blog that states the "20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships". All great tips for fostering our special relationship and I wanted to share them all with you:

Free yourself from negative people. – Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
Let go of those who are already gone. – The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on. We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are. So when people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you. It doesn’t mean they are bad people; it just means that their part in your story is over.
Give people you don’t know a fair chance. – When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours. We meet no ordinary people in our lives. If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer. So appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
Show everyone kindness and respect. – Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother. People will notice your kindness.
Accept people just the way they are. – In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try. So save yourself from needless stress. Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.
Encourage others and cheer for them. – Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
Be your imperfectly prefect self. – In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self. And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same. Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress. Be your imperfectly perfect self around them. We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for those select few people that really take the time to get to know us and love us for who we really are. And to those select few, being our imperfectly perfect self is what they love about us.
Forgive people and move forward. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life. Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.
Do little things every day for others. – Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.
Pay attention to who your real friends are. – As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones. Remember, life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess. And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess. These people are your real friends in life. They are the ones who matter most.
Always be loyal. – True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable. These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when they are separated. When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.
Stay in better touch with people who matter to you. – In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart. So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words. Stay in touch with those who matter to you. Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of. Paying attention to these people is a priority.
Keep your promises and tell the truth. – If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE! If you say you feel something, MEAN IT! If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE. It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies. Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt. Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts. Never mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of yours. Always be open and honest.
Give what you want to receive. – Don’t expect what you are not willing to give. Start practicing the golden rule. If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want money, provide value. It works. It really is this simple. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. – Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable. Information is the grease that keeps the engine of communication functioning. Start communicating clearly. Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours. Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.
Allow others to make their own decisions. – Do not judge others by your own past. They are living a different life than you are. What might be good for one person may not be good for another. What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better. Allow people to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.
Talk a little less, and listen more. – Less advice is often the best advice. People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement. What they want to know is often already somewhere inside of them. They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.
Leave petty arguments alone. – Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. There are many roads to what’s right. And most of the time it just doesn’t matter that much. Read How To Win Friends and Influence People.
Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary. – No one has the right to judge you. They might have heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right. What most people think and say about you isn’t all that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
Pay attention to your relationship with yourself. – One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are special too. When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters? When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace, simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there? When was the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?

Public Bicycles

For Christmas this past year, I bought myself a new bicycle...and I am in love!! I had forgotten how much fun riding bikes could be. If you are looking for a good way to get around town, go to the store etc...get on your two wheels!

After a lot of research (I should say John's research), I decided on a local SF brand, Public Bikes. I now ride my back to and from work everyday and have a whole new respect for the bicycling community.

As a total coincidence, my friend Amy ordered the same bike as me for Christmas...we went out riding after work on Friday....what a perfect SF day...check out picture below:

If you are looking for something new and fun in your life...hop on your bike!!

Pinterest Obsession

Hi Blogging World...I have been SO bad about updates lately...and I have to admit I have a new obsession- Pinterest! Have you checked it out yet? What an AMAZING way to collect good ideas, recipes and new things. Here's the link to my boards: http://pinterest.com/jenscales/

Have you signed up yet?? Get on it...it will be a game changer.

12 Things Happy People Do Differently

Christmas is almost here and I feel like when we are in the thick of the holiday season- we often lose track of all that's important in life. I wanted to share with you a great article or what the author calls "happiness habits" shared with me by my friend- "12 Things Happy People Do Differently":

Express gratitude. – When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value. Kinda cool right? So basically, being grateful for the goodness that is already evident in your life will bring you a deeper sense of happiness. And that’s without having to go out and buy anything. It makes sense. We’re gonna have a hard time ever being happy if we aren’t thankful for what we already have.
Cultivate optimism. – Winners have the ability to manufacture their own optimism. No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it. She knows failure only as an opportunity to grow and learn a new lesson from life. People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.
Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. – Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous. If we’re somehow ‘better’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, it gives us an unhealthy sense of superiority. Our ego inflates – KABOOM – our inner Kanye West comes out! If we’re ‘worse’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, we usually discredit the hard work that we’ve done and dismiss all the progress that we’ve made. What I’ve found is that the majority of the time this type of social comparison doesn’t stem from a healthy place. If you feel called to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.
Practice acts of kindness. – Performing an act of kindness releases serotonin in your brain. (Serotonin is a substance that has TREMENDOUS health benefits, including making us feel more blissful.) Selflessly helping someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside. What’s even cooler about this kindness kick is that not only will you feel better, but so will people watching the act of kindness. How extraordinary is that? Bystanders will be blessed with a release of serotonin just by watching what’s going on. A side note is that the job of most anti-depressants is to release more serotonin. Move over Pfizer, kindness is kicking ass and taking names.
Nurture social relationships. – The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships. Did you know studies show that people’s mortality rates are DOUBLED when they’re lonely? WHOA! There’s a warm fuzzy feeling that comes from having an active circle of good friends who you can share your experiences with. We feel connected and a part of something more meaningful than our lonesome existence.
Develop strategies for coping. – How you respond to the ‘craptastic’ moments is what shapes your character. Sometimes crap happens – it’s inevitable. Forrest Gump knows the deal. It can be hard to come up with creative solutions in the moment when manure is making its way up toward the fan. It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal.
Learn to forgive. – Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being. You see, your mind doesn’t know the difference between past and present emotion. When you ‘hate’ someone, and you’re continuously thinking about it, those negative emotions are eating away at your immune system. You put yourself in a state of suckerism (technical term) and it stays with you throughout your day.
Increase flow experiences. – Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still. It’s when you’re so focused on what you’re doing that you become one with the task. Action and awareness are merged. You’re not hungry, sleepy, or emotional. You’re just completely engaged in the activity that you’re doing. Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus.
Savor life’s joys. – Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to enjoy the joy. It’s easy in a world of wild stimuli and omnipresent movement to forget to embrace life’s enjoyable experiences. When we neglect to appreciate, we rob the moment of its magic. It’s the simple things in life that can be the most rewarding if we remember to fully experience them.
Commit to your goals. – Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force. Magical things start happening when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get somewhere. When you’re fully committed to doing something, you have no choice but to do that thing. Counter-intuitively, having no option – where you can’t change your mind – subconsciously makes humans happier because they know part of their purpose.
Practice spirituality. – When we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is bigger than us. We surrender the silly idea that we are the mightiest thing ever. It enables us to connect to the source of all creation and embrace a connectedness with everything that exists. Some of the most accomplished people I know feel that they’re here doing work they’re “called to do.”
Take care of your body. – Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be. If you don’t have your physical energy in good shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected. Did you know that studies conducted on people who were clinically depressed showed that consistent exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft? Not only that, but here’s the double whammy… Six months later, the people who participated in exercise were less likely to relapse because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth

Covet Stile

I am so excited to share with you all my fashionista dear friend, Kate's, new blog: Covet Stile...I have known Kate since 6th grade and she even made our school uniform look stylish!!

Move over Anna Wintour.

Aedrial Originals

I have lately become obsessed with Pinterest...such a fun way to share ideas! I am on the hunt for a good cake plate and thru Pinterest discovered this adorable etsy store- Aedrial Originals.

Here are some things on my wish list from this store:

love this.

definitely putting this on my christmas list!

Seattle Spaghetti and Meatballs

I spent last weekend in Seattle and was reminded just how much I love that city! Courtney lives really close to Cafe Lago and raves about the meatball recipe from the restaurant...so good that it was even in Bon Appetit! With all this recipe talk lately...need to get myself in the kitchen!!

Here's the recipe from the magazine.

Crock Pot Carnitas Tacos

I've never been to Iowa...nor do I have any plans to visit soon, but I recently have discovered the Iowa Girl Eats blog and loving the great ideas! Yesterday I shared with you her idea for chili and mason jars (still on the fence about that one)...and today wanted to share her crock pot carnitas tacos...this is the perfect make ahead meal for a dinner party...definitely trying this out soon! Ole!

Click here for the full recipe.

Mason Jar and Chili?

What do you think of this new idea...mason jar filled with chili and cornbread?! It could be a total flop...or a complete hit. Now that winter is upon us (although finally feels like summer in San Francisco)...perfect season for chili and fun holiday dinner parties...this could be an idea that I may need to try out before serving to a crowd! Click here for the recipe and how to put this whole mess together!

Chicken Marbella

My friends have ohhed and ahhed over Chicken Marbella for years...and I am going to FINALLY give this recipe a try...it looks like a pretty simple recipe and one that I can't mess up too much. Thinking of serving it with a simple arugula salad and couscous...wish me luck!

Click here for full recipe and reviews.

Butternut Squash Ricotta Crostini

In keeping with my fall theme...here's a great appetizer for your next cocktail party...I think I am going to get the pre-cut butternut squash from Trader Joes...thanks Bon Appetit for this yum recipe!

Pumpkin Nut Butter

Hello fall!! Although it's finally starting to feel like summer in San Francisco....it's officially fall and I couldn't be more excited...one of my favorite seasons!! Here's a great idea for a holiday gift...pumpkin nut butter...yes please! xx.

Thanks Chocolate Covered Katie for sharing

Bersatu Designs

Had to share with you a company that my friend just started...Bersatu Designs!

Not only is the jewelry absolutely adorable, but I love the story behind this company...Bersatu seeks to provide income generating activities for Indonesians through the creation of simple, chic, Bali-inspired jewelry and accessories. All the jewelry is handmade by local Indonesians....so not only are you going to look cute with this jewelry, but you are also helping a community....win, win.

Congrats Cissy!! Loving this line...

Peach Pie Dumplings

It's almost September and finally starting to feel a bit like summer in SF! We are going to be out of the fog for the long weekend and I am looking for some yummy recipes to enjoy outside and in the sun. This Peach Pie Dumpling recipe screams summer...can't wait to try to make this!

Serves 6

1 sheet, puff pastry, cut into 6 equal squares (approximently 4 1/2 x 4 1/2)

6 peaches skinned & sliced

3 tablespoons sugar

1 1/2 teaspoon corn starch

6 teaspoons heaping, blueberry preserves, optional

Line each muffin cup with a puff pastry square.

Taste cut peaches. If they are super sweet, cut the sugar. Mix peaches with sugar and cornstarch.

Fill pastry lined cups with peaches piled high.

Dollop a teaspoon of blueberry preserve on top, if desired.

Pull corners of the square up together and twist, then seal.

Place muffin tin on a baking sheet to prevent messing up your oven. Bake in a 400F preheated oven for about 30 minutes. Pull out when pastry is puffed up and golden brown, inside peaches are bubbling up. Cool and enjoy. So hard to wait.